I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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