what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
