Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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