okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
