all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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