If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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