mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
