I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
