im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
