Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
