yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize