32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
