I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
