We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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