why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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