You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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