I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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