wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
