Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
