I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
