Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
