we should wear snuggies to the strip club
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
