i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize