i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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