Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
whose parrot is this?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
