just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
