hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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