shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
