you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
