actually, I'm a sock model
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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