So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
