I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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