youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
