She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
