when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
