you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
