ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
