Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
