chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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