when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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