I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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