Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
