his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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