i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
