i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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