Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
