And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
