Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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