What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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