Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
