he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
