I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
