Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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