Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
