Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
