she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
