So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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