How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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