My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
