I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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