Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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