I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Who put my cat in the fridge?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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