I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
