ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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