he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
