No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
